Welcome to the Casa Del Auntie Stella, OLE!!!  Okay I don't speak Spanish but I do know most of the dirty words.  When they get hurled at you often enough you learn what they mean, for the longest time I thought that PUTA meant pretty.  Turns out it means BITCH and they are right, but I'm a pretty bitch, LOL Bathing suit season will be here soon (mine starts at the neck and goes to the ankles) so that means time for salads and what better way to start then Taco Salad.  Auntie is a big fan of canned diced tomatoes and why not, for about 75 cents you get a one pound can (much cheaper than fresh) and they store well and for long periods of time.  Packed in tomato juice so just drain it into your favorite shot glass, add some vodka (okay you are probably going to need a bigger glass) and a squeeze of lime and knock it back.  Also, since they are wetter than fresh tomatoes, you will need less dressing-save money and calories.  This should serve 4 but that is really up to you, I have been known to eat the whole thing (stop laughing).

Okay let's get started, very little cooking and basically if you can use a can opener this is for you.

1 pound of hamburger
1 can of refried beans
1 can of diced chilies
1 can of sliced black olives
1 lime quartered
1/2 head of lettuce (good luck getting the produce manager to sell you a half)
1 package of McCormics Chili-o mix (they make one for tacos but this is a little spicier)
1 large bag of tortilla chips
1 8oz bag of sharp cheddar cheese.

Brown the hamburger then drain the grease off, add the chili-o mix and one envelope of water, why waste any of the goodness and works great.  Stir till it thickens (or the smell makes you want to crawl into the skillet and eat your way out).  Fill bowls half full of tortillas, add the rest of the ingredients and save the hamburger to the top and then add shredded cheese and you are ready to eat.

Should you happen to have leftover chilies, cheese and tortillas,  place tortillas on a paper plate, dribble the chilies and throw some cheese on that bad boy and nuke for one minute.

Please leave me a note so I will know I'm not just doing this for myself, Love ya, AS

Not sure if Easter comes before St Patties day but they are both coming up soon.  If you don't have kids or can keep an eye on them, after the eggs are boiled use crayola or wax to write on them before dying, fun stuff like slut or oral sex or what ever comes to your perverted little minds.  Kids can put their names or designs on them and then dying them.  Heard tell that the Easter Bunny started hiding the eggs so no one would know about the affair with the chicken.

Gotta love St Patties day, everyone is Irish that day.  Not much for green beer but I do love me some Irish coffee.  In a tall mug you put 1 1/2-2ozs of Irish whiskey and then add hot coffee, a dash of cinnamon, whipped cream and a cherry. (Sugar or sweetener optional.) Between the coffee and the whiskey, in the outer villages of Ireland the bartenders are required to put a bell braclett on the patron so that the the sheep have a chance to run away, LOL  Any plans for you????  Stella

Valentines is just around the corner my loves, Auntie Stella loves diamonds, chocolate and red heads, not necessarily in that order, LOL.  Hope you have picked out your valentine and that it is going to be the best.  And let's not forget that a month later it's St. Patrick's day,  Auntie has a recipe for you in my older posts for an Irish Meal.  This has been tested by me and many of you as well, guaranteed to get your Irish in order.  And should you come across any of those Leprechauns, don't believe a word they say against me, I would never kick or pick on anyone that small no matter how much green beer and Irish whiskey I drank.

 Now for today's recipe and I know many of you are going to cringe, but don't give up on me yet, fried Chicken Livers, not just for the cat anymore.  Get a container of them at your favorite store and bring them home with you.  No fair forgetting them and leaving them at the store, and I grant you they are a bloody mess when you open them but never fear.  Take two lunch bags and put one inside of the other.  Next add a cup of flour (more or less), a tablespoon of sugar and about three or four shakes of the Italian Seasoning that is usually only reserved for spaghetti sauce, put all of this in the doubled brown bag and shake the shit out of it.  Salt and pepper if you please and I like to add about a tablespoon of chives in mine.  Pour half of the livers into the bag and shake again, hard this time.  It coats the livers and they are not so scary looking and try not to think of it as a chicken abortion because that's not what it is.

Ready your skillet with your favorite cooking oil, bacon grease is wonderful or lard if you can find it.  Pick the coated livers out of the bag when the grease is hot (a drop of cold water will tell you it's ready).  Then just start putting the little bastards in there and cook over medium heat.  I serve with applesauce, Lima beans and pickled beets.

It does tickle the hell out of me that many of my close friends wouldn't touch chicken livers, however, they love the hell out of the pate I make, LOL..Boil a container of chicken livers, let them cool.  Have an 8oz package of cream cheese brought to room temperature and and the spices and chives from above.  Put the mixture in the fridge till it sets, form a log from the mixture and roll it in pecan or walnut pieces and serve to your guest.  Some orange extract added makes it memorable or Gran Mariner if you have it, but it doesn't last long at my house.  Thanks for stopping by, Stella

NUTELLA????

Who the hell forgot to tell me about this stuff?? We are talking about an orgasm in a jar, with or without a spoon. Really, chocolate and ground hazel nuts, OMG. I saw an ad on television, (I usually speed through them but I caught this one), where a mother is actually giving this stuff to their kids on bread. WTF, I believe that you must be at least 21 to eat this wonderful concoction, I'm saying you have to appreciate life to truly understand this blend. This has set an awfully high bar for their little lives to achieve. I don't remember how much I paid for it but I would sell one of my best tiaras for another jar. It says it's 200 calories per serving (two tablespoons) and contains 10 servings per container. Right. If you are on a 2,000 calorie a day routine, you could eat the whole jar. Okay, not a good idea at all, but I assure you that you are going to want to do that very thing and I promise to do the right thing on the next jar! What's going on with all of you??
Auntie Stella

WHAT DOES YOUR WATER LOOK LIKE?

I had a conversation with a worker at Walmart over the weekend and we talked about drinking water. She was happy with the taste of her tap water but I pressed further. She hand washes her dishes so I asked her if she rinsed them before stacking them up in the drainboard and she said yes. Then I asked what was causing the discoloration under the rack? A light bulb in brain moment ensued and then a sick look went over her face. Bottled water is fine for on the go but if Oprah finds out you are using non-recyclable bottles you have had it. Plus it gets costly and one could get a hernia trying to carry the cases into the house. There are several brands of water purifiers on the market and one refill should provide up to 100 gallons of purified and better tasting water. I use mine for ice cubes, iced tea, coffee and reconstituting canned juices and Kool-Aid, (some of the new flavors are too fab). If you have a problem with colds, flu or your immune system is compromised for any reason, maybe you should check it out. Initial out lay is about $25 and around $15 for refills and one lasts me for about 1-2 months. The taste alone is worth checking it out (and I do use Kool-Aid to make my own diet flavored waters!)
Be good to yourself, your families and visitors.
Auntie Stella

QUICKIE STUFF FOR EATING WHILE WATCHING THE GAMES

I recently introduced an artist friend of mine, Mark, to the world of Nachos and now he is lost and they are so easy to make. Even Cathy could make these, that's just how easy they are to make.

What you need: 1 bag of tortilla chips, several cans of chopped chilies (because you will want to make these a lot), and a bag of shredded cheddar cheese.

Lay the chips out on a paper plate, sprinkle the chilies around then add the cheese. Pop in the microwave for about a minute and you're ready to eat, one plate per person or you might loose a finger. Other things you can add are sliced black olives, very thinly sliced onion, bacon bits. Let your mind go wild, but the plain nachos are delicious just as they are.

Back to the games,
Stella

AUNTIE STELLA ON TELEVISION? WOULD THAT BE FUN OR WHAT

A friend, a dear friend actually, came to me with an idea. At first I thought it was just a ploy to get some free cookies and milk but this guy is serious. He wants to get in touch with the LOGO channel and get them to read my blog and see if there is a possibility of getting me my own show. I can just picture it now, a large ranch style kitchen so that I would have lots of storage space and room to move around in. And every good show has a side kick but I'm thinking of a new one every week, some cute little dressed in nothing but an apron so that I can chase him around the kitchen with a spatula while the food is cooking. And then what a guest list I could have! Ellen, Sir Ian, Kevin, and that adorable Neil Patrick Harris and the list just goes on. I'm hoping that he really does have friends over there but just in case, feel free to write, email or call LOGO (the LGBT Channel) and tell them that you think that I would should have my own show and that they can check out my blogs at their leisure, or better still, right now.
Stella