ON THE ROAD AGAIN !!!

Dear Friends of the Stella, Sorry, I’ve been out of touch for awhile but I have been touring the south performing my job as a judge for all of the local Miss Gay America pageants. Every town, county or city that has a gay bar seems to be having these and I can use the bucks. The rules, of course, are somewhat different for these contests like sleeping with the judges is not only permitted but also encouraged. And although some of the contestants are truly pigs they are of the two-legged variety. Hog calling and chicken plucking are by themselves worthy attributes but can not be used during the talent portion of the contest. The rest of the rules seem to vary from bar to bar and local to local. The most interesting one was “The Miss Gay America Semi-Driver” competition. You just have to admire a truck driver walking in a pair of stilettos and who knew that latex girdles could be made that size. As always, any contestant caught grazing on the grass during the pageant will automatically be disqualified, except in Texas.

But in keeping with my reputation as The Kitchen Bitch, I will share a recipe that I have never before shared with anyone, my world famous chocolate chip cookies. You know I love short cuts and everyone will be sworn to secrecy on this one. I use the recipe on the back of the bag of Nestle’s Chocolate Chips with the following variation. To the batter add 1 tablespoon of instant coffee, 1 teaspoon of ground clove (not just for hams anymore), 1/2 cup of walnut pieces and a handful of flaked coconut (this keeps the cookies nice and moist for a longer period of time, like they're going to sit around). Then just finish with the rest of their directions except I like to make larger cookies (for when my diet says I can only have one cookie). Sometimes I like to add one additional ingredient and that would be 1 teaspoon of raspberry extract. I dare you.
Auntie Stella

SOUPS, STEWS AND CHILI, PART 2

If you don't have a crock p0t, now would be a great time to invest in one. They are easy to use and you can get them with the lift out container which is easier to clean and you can get everything ready the night before an just stick it in the fridge until you are ready to leave for the day and come home to the aroma of beef or chicken stew or soup. The supermarkets are full of bags of vegetables that will fit your needs or you can use canned veggies (my choice) and packages of the kitchen wonder drug MTB broth. Yes, something better that bullion cubes has come along but I still prefer to use my chicken stock when I can but the beef is out of this world. I get three packets for around a buck and it's worth every penny because I also use it in my Bloody Mary mix, voted the best in Washington, D.C. three years in a row.

In your crock pot, put two packages of the beef broth in the bottom of the pot, throw in a package of stew beef (or if steak or beef roast is on sale buy it and cut it into stew beef size pieces) and toss it in the pot. Open 2 cans of potatoes; 1 of whole kernel corn; 2 cans of green beans; and one of carrots and pour them into the pot. If you have a cup of coffee left over from breakfast add that and then throw in a sliced onion and maybe a piece of celery chopped and you are done. Yes, you do add the water from the veggies until you are about an inch from the top. Turn the crock pot on low before you leave the house (leave yourself a note on the front door). You can also make sandwiches if you want but the soup with some "dipping bread and butter" might be enough. For stew, leave out the corn and to thicken the soup into stew, you can fuss with flour or corn starch or do what Auntie Stella does and add some instant mashed potatoes when you get home. (Who knew!!! HE, HE I did) The bags of frozen veggies work great too but let them thaw in the fridge over night before putting them in the crock pot. You and your families can come home and dinner is all but done and the whole house smells great.

Next we're on to chili,
Stella

SOUPS, STEWS AND CHILI

Now is the perfect time for this category when my friends outside of Florida (and it's cold here too) as they are freezing their butts off. Some of you are probably like me and after a dinner you take the left over veggies to the kitchen and put them in bowls and put in the fridge until they are unidentifiable before throwing out (or) eating them so that you don't waste food. Well, I have a new idea for you that isn't actually new, just forgotten. Save those veggies in a large container that will fit in your freezer and just keep adding them until you are ready to make soup. It can be thawed in the fridge overnight or just throw them into a pot or crock pot and you have a soup base. When I cut a fresh onion I always cut off both ends and throw them in the bowl as well to help season the soup. Do you buy fresh celery? Cut off the leaves and slice the celery at the base and clean it up and chop it into smaller pieces and freeze that as well for seasoning. These are simple things that you can do to make a great pot of soup.

When I make chicken soup of any kind, I buy the large package of chicken thighs when they are on sale and cook the whole batch at once. Chicken thighs are not only cheap but they only have one bone and it's large enough that I can even find it without my glasses. I spice it up with onion, celery (seed or real); caraway seed (yep, the stuff that makes rye bread); dill weed while it's boiling. Once it's done you can just pull the thighs out, remove the bone and the skin (throw the skin back into the pot to boost your chicken stock) and just shred the thigh meat or dice it if you prefer. For those of you who keep telling me that you don't have time or can't cook, you can just put the thighs in the fridge or in the freezer until you are ready to make your soup. Homemade chicken and noodle soup, chicken and rice soup or chicken and vegetable. Beware though, when your family tastes these home made treats they will want more.

Many people say that I cheat when cooking but I prefer to think of it as cooking smarter and taking easier routes. Dry beans are much cheaper than canned and are actually very easy to do, trust me. I recently made a pot of split pea soup, a large pot actually and there were only 3 of us eating it and it was gone in one night. I soaked 2 packages of dry split peas (88 cents a bag) over night with 2-3 inches of water above the peas. Next morning I drained and rinsed them twice and put the same amount of water over them again. Threw in a slab of ham (you don't have to buy the whole ham but you can get a lot of meals out of one) diced into pieces about the size of dimes or pennies, and just boiled the hell out of them for about 1/2 hour. Removed from the heat and scooped out the peas that were still a little hard and threw them into the blender and hit the puree button and then returned them to the pot. Poured in a can of diced potatoes drained and a can of diced carrots drained of course and brought the mixture back to a boil. Slowly added a pint of half and half and it was done and ready to serve. Served with heat and serve rolls and butter.

I think that's about all I can get on one blog so I'll continue in minutes with part 2.
Stella

THAT RAW VEGETABLE TRAY UPDATED

Hello Readers; Holiday updates again. The traditional raw vegetable tray that everyone likes so well can get a great new taste with a fresh dip idea. Before you start cutting up those veggies, make this easy and delicious dip and stick it in the fridge to start cooling. The taste gets better the longer you let it sit. You will need 1 package of Knorr Leek soup mix, one large package of cream cheese and one pint of sour cream. Let the cream cheese sit out till soft and then blend all three ingredients together. It will taste bland at first but once chilled it is just fab.

Cut your peppers, celery, carrot sticks, broccoli and/or cauliflower, what ever you would like to serve (wash them of course but don't use Dawn, I tried that once and it was awful tasting) and set up your tray. It is best to do this a day before so that you are ready at a moment's notice. Friends will want to know your secret for the dip but let's keep it between us. It beats the hell our of the old French Onion stuff and is much fresher that buying something from the store.

Should you have left overs, throw the vegetables in a pot and cover with an inch of water and boil to make vegetable stock for your next pot of soup. Also, and this is doubtful, if there is any dip left, add a little bit of milk to it and have yourself a great salad dressing. (Stella hates to waste anything except ex-husbands).

Wishing everyone the best of the holiday season and a great 2009, I am,
Auntie Stella, dragging in the kitchen

DARE TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT

The recipes that you are likely to read about in here are things that I have personally made and tasted but some are going to sound weird. Weird can be good. There was this guy named Oscar that I dated once, um but that's another story for another time.

Chili and Eggs, not two foods you would ordinarily think of at the same time but it works well. You can make as much or as little as you want by adjusting the ingredients and this is not something that tastes all that good reheated later so eat up. Typically I make it for two of us and it is a meal in itself so you don't need anything extra except toast or English muffins and your favorite jelly or jam. I could eat this morning, noon or night but you might want to try it for dinner first.

Shopping list: Eggs; large can of Hormel chili with beans; can of chopped chilies (I like the mild ones), a large onion diced; chopped green peppers (optional); a bag of cheddar cheese and a couple of teaspoons of oleo or butter.

In a skillet, add the butter over medium low heat. Next add 1/2 the onions and the green peppers and saute. Beat the hell out of six-eight eggs depending on their size, (of course I like the extra large or jumbos being the size queen that I am). I like to add a little milk to the eggs but that's up to you. Most cooks add water but again, I don't drink that stuff. Pour the egg mixture into the skillet and stir them to make scrambled eggs. When the eggs are just about as hard as you would normally serve them, empty the can of chili over top of the eggs and heat until the beans are hot (only a couple of minutes). Remove and put directly onto the plates and garnish with the rest of the onions and top with the cheddar cheese and you're ready to starting eating. To avoid heartburn later, I drink a large glass of milk with this meal or you can keep a roll of Tums or Rolaids handy for later. Quick, easy and it tastes wonderful. I hope you will try this because I know it will quickly become one of your favorites.

Till next time, I'm Stella (aren't you glad you're not)

BEVRAGES, NEW AND EXCITING WAYS TO MAKE BLAND FUN

Being the southern slut that I am, iced tea is what is served most at my place. Used to drink a lot of water till I saw a picture a deer peeing in a stream so now I have to boil it first. But it surprises me how many people don't know how to make 'sweet tea' and I have found an easy way to make it these days (easy is me). I use a 4 cup glass measuring cup and add 6 tea regular tea bags and just toss it into the microwave. Okay, rednecks, don't really toss it just put it in there. Set the microwave for 10 minutes and then just let it set for awhile and go check your emails or watch part of Oprah. You will need to have a gallon jug and if you are going to use the milk jug you just finished rinse it real good and then use a funnel to put the tea, sugar and water in, but not the same one that you use to put oil in the car. 1 and 1/2 cups of sugar will give you the iced tea that your mama used to make but shake or stir the mixture real good or you might get a sugar rush on the last glass.

My baby sister Debbie puts nothing else in her tea (die hard redneck girl) but I drink so much of the stuff that I like to add other stuff to it once in awhile, do you feel daring enough to stay with me? It might sound a little weird but if you try some of these ideas you might find that you really like the taste, at least for a change of pace. Kool-aid, the stuff you drank as a kid can now be used to add a different flavor to your tea. Make your favorite flavor of Kool-aid up in a jug and try adding an inch or two to your glass before adding the iced tea. My new favorite flavor is the Mango. Also, those extracts that I spoke of in the beginning can be fun too, a couple of drops of the raspberry extract will taste better than the stuff that you pay $1 for in the vending machines. If you have kids, you probably buy the grape juice in the can that calls for 3 cans of water to add to it. Again, 1-2 inches of the stuff. I know this all sounds weird but trust the old girl here.

If you are a coffee drinker, especially at night, a couple of drops of raspberry, almond or vanilla extract can be heavenly. Not for breakfast when you need a cup of kick-ass to get you going but more like relaxing and watching Wheel of Fortune. If you find that you like it, I use a cap full of extract on top of the grounds before brewing. Ever heard of Cafe Vienna, in comes in a box in the grocery store for about $4. Try putting some cinnamon on the grounds, just a couple of shakes of the tin or jar and then add sugar and cream or coffee lightener in your cup. How easy is that and you have something new to serve to your guest (assuming you keep your boots on and have friends).

Next time I'll teach you how to make: Chili and Eggs, not for the faint of heart to look at but it tastes wonderful and an hour later you can go and visit your mother-in-law. LOL
Stella

MAKE SOMETHING PRETTY

Yes, I know people eat because they are hungry but if you take the time to make the plate more colorful or just add a sprig of parsley; a slice of lemon or lime or orange and the arrangement of the food on the plate. Don't just slop in on the plate like they do in jail and don't ask me how I know about such things. If it looks pretty it will taste better and the compliments will follow. Ask yourself, who would you go home with first, Brad Pitt or Frankenstein? Okay, maybe that is going off topic but I just love to think about Brad Pitt. Here are somethings that you can try at home for your family and friends.

Salad, it's not just lettuce and tomato with a slice of cucumber anymore. You can add some Salad Supreme (made by McCormick and found on the spice isle, one of my favorites); add some leftover chicken, turkey or ham that is just sitting in the fridge; Parmesan or Romano cheese that you only use for spaghetti and fresh vegetables like yellow squash or onion. Serve it up with your favorite salad dressings and WOW.

Home made soups are a snap if you have a crock pot or even if you have to cook it on top of the stove. My extra time is all mine to do what I want to do so short cuts help a lot. For my vegetable beef soup I pick up a pack of stew beef; some beef broth or bouillon cubes; a can of potatoes, carrots, peas (if you must but remember that Confucius says: If you cook carrots and peas in same pot, that is very unsanitary) and a can of corn. Throw it all in the same pot including the liquid that is in the cans. Add celery if you have fresh or some celery seeds, salt and pepper and a little garlic powder. Cook on high for the first fifteen minutes (top of the stove method) then turn it down to low and let it cook for about an hour. If you are really brazen, you can add a can of diced tomatoes just long enough to heat them up. Serve with a salad and bread and butter (you don't actually think I was going to bake biscuits did you?) and you can have a soup and salad night at your house.

Till next time, I'm Stella

STELLA GOES BELOW THE BORDER

First let me clarify that, I'm talking about cooking my version of Mexican Chicken and Rice. I did make one trip across the border many years ago, I stayed drunk the whole time and have no memory of anything that happened. And while this is not truly a Mexican dish I say it is and that makes it so. I have entertained many Latino men in my time and they always ate what was put in front of them (make whatever you want out of that statement).

This is a quick and easy recipe and will only take about a half hour to prepare.
Shopping list: 1 16 ounce can of black beans; 2 cups of white or brown rice, uncooked (or a package of yellow rice if you prefer); 1 jar of salsa sauce; 1 medium red onion, diced; 1 large boneless/skinless chicken breast per person; two tablespoons of cooking oil and a 1/4 inch slice of Velveeta cheese per chicken breast.

Bring 4 cups of water to a boil, add the rice and bring to a second boil and cook for 5 minutes then turn down to low and let it cook for 20 minutes. Next pour the oil in a skillet and get it hot before adding the chicken breast (cook on medium or medium high). Tan the chicken on both sides and turn the stove to low medium and add the salsa making sure that it gets all over the chicken. Dice the onion and put to the side. When the rice is done, add the Velveeta to the chicken and let it melt (it will drip down into the salsa and that's just what you want it to do). Microwave the black beans, part of this has to be easy) and add the onion to the beans. Sloop it all onto a plate and enjoy. Just as good with iced tea as with a beer or glass of wine. YUM. Let me know how you liked it. Stella