Who the hell forgot to tell me about this stuff?? We are talking about an orgasm in a jar, with or without a spoon. Really, chocolate and ground hazel nuts, OMG. I saw an ad on television, (I usually speed through them but I caught this one), where a mother is actually giving this stuff to their kids on bread. WTF, I believe that you must be at least 21 to eat this wonderful concoction, I'm saying you have to appreciate life to truly understand this blend. This has set an awfully high bar for their little lives to achieve. I don't remember how much I paid for it but I would sell one of my best tiaras for another jar. It says it's 200 calories per serving (two tablespoons) and contains 10 servings per container. Right. If you are on a 2,000 calorie a day routine, you could eat the whole jar. Okay, not a good idea at all, but I assure you that you are going to want to do that very thing and I promise to do the right thing on the next jar! What's going on with all of you??
Auntie Stella
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
WHAT DOES YOUR WATER LOOK LIKE?
I had a conversation with a worker at Walmart over the weekend and we talked about drinking water. She was happy with the taste of her tap water but I pressed further. She hand washes her dishes so I asked her if she rinsed them before stacking them up in the drainboard and she said yes. Then I asked what was causing the discoloration under the rack? A light bulb in brain moment ensued and then a sick look went over her face. Bottled water is fine for on the go but if Oprah finds out you are using non-recyclable bottles you have had it. Plus it gets costly and one could get a hernia trying to carry the cases into the house. There are several brands of water purifiers on the market and one refill should provide up to 100 gallons of purified and better tasting water. I use mine for ice cubes, iced tea, coffee and reconstituting canned juices and Kool-Aid, (some of the new flavors are too fab). If you have a problem with colds, flu or your immune system is compromised for any reason, maybe you should check it out. Initial out lay is about $25 and around $15 for refills and one lasts me for about 1-2 months. The taste alone is worth checking it out (and I do use Kool-Aid to make my own diet flavored waters!)
Be good to yourself, your families and visitors.
Auntie Stella
Be good to yourself, your families and visitors.
Auntie Stella
Monday, February 22, 2010
QUICKIE STUFF FOR EATING WHILE WATCHING THE GAMES
I recently introduced an artist friend of mine, Mark, to the world of Nachos and now he is lost and they are so easy to make. Even Cathy could make these, that's just how easy they are to make.
What you need: 1 bag of tortilla chips, several cans of chopped chilies (because you will want to make these a lot), and a bag of shredded cheddar cheese.
Lay the chips out on a paper plate, sprinkle the chilies around then add the cheese. Pop in the microwave for about a minute and you're ready to eat, one plate per person or you might loose a finger. Other things you can add are sliced black olives, very thinly sliced onion, bacon bits. Let your mind go wild, but the plain nachos are delicious just as they are.
Back to the games,
Stella
What you need: 1 bag of tortilla chips, several cans of chopped chilies (because you will want to make these a lot), and a bag of shredded cheddar cheese.
Lay the chips out on a paper plate, sprinkle the chilies around then add the cheese. Pop in the microwave for about a minute and you're ready to eat, one plate per person or you might loose a finger. Other things you can add are sliced black olives, very thinly sliced onion, bacon bits. Let your mind go wild, but the plain nachos are delicious just as they are.
Back to the games,
Stella
Friday, December 4, 2009
AUNTIE STELLA ON TELEVISION? WOULD THAT BE FUN OR WHAT
A friend, a dear friend actually, came to me with an idea. At first I thought it was just a ploy to get some free cookies and milk but this guy is serious. He wants to get in touch with the LOGO channel and get them to read my blog and see if there is a possibility of getting me my own show. I can just picture it now, a large ranch style kitchen so that I would have lots of storage space and room to move around in. And every good show has a side kick but I'm thinking of a new one every week, some cute little dressed in nothing but an apron so that I can chase him around the kitchen with a spatula while the food is cooking. And then what a guest list I could have! Ellen, Sir Ian, Kevin, and that adorable Neil Patrick Harris and the list just goes on. I'm hoping that he really does have friends over there but just in case, feel free to write, email or call LOGO (the LGBT Channel) and tell them that you think that I would should have my own show and that they can check out my blogs at their leisure, or better still, right now.
Stella
Stella
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
ON THE ROAD AGAIN !!!
Dear Friends of the Stella, Sorry, I’ve been out of touch for awhile but I have been touring the south performing my job as a judge for all of the local Miss Gay America pageants. Every town, county or city that has a gay bar seems to be having these and I can use the bucks. The rules, of course, are somewhat different for these contests like sleeping with the judges is not only permitted but also encouraged. And although some of the contestants are truly pigs they are of the two-legged variety. Hog calling and chicken plucking are by themselves worthy attributes but can not be used during the talent portion of the contest. The rest of the rules seem to vary from bar to bar and local to local. The most interesting one was “The Miss Gay America Semi-Driver” competition. You just have to admire a truck driver walking in a pair of stilettos and who knew that latex girdles could be made that size. As always, any contestant caught grazing on the grass during the pageant will automatically be disqualified, except in Texas.
But in keeping with my reputation as The Kitchen Bitch, I will share a recipe that I have never before shared with anyone, my world famous chocolate chip cookies. You know I love short cuts and everyone will be sworn to secrecy on this one. I use the recipe on the back of the bag of Nestle’s Chocolate Chips with the following variation. To the batter add 1 tablespoon of instant coffee, 1 teaspoon of ground clove (not just for hams anymore), 1/2 cup of walnut pieces and a handful of flaked coconut (this keeps the cookies nice and moist for a longer period of time, like they're going to sit around). Then just finish with the rest of their directions except I like to make larger cookies (for when my diet says I can only have one cookie). Sometimes I like to add one additional ingredient and that would be 1 teaspoon of raspberry extract. I dare you.
Auntie Stella
But in keeping with my reputation as The Kitchen Bitch, I will share a recipe that I have never before shared with anyone, my world famous chocolate chip cookies. You know I love short cuts and everyone will be sworn to secrecy on this one. I use the recipe on the back of the bag of Nestle’s Chocolate Chips with the following variation. To the batter add 1 tablespoon of instant coffee, 1 teaspoon of ground clove (not just for hams anymore), 1/2 cup of walnut pieces and a handful of flaked coconut (this keeps the cookies nice and moist for a longer period of time, like they're going to sit around). Then just finish with the rest of their directions except I like to make larger cookies (for when my diet says I can only have one cookie). Sometimes I like to add one additional ingredient and that would be 1 teaspoon of raspberry extract. I dare you.
Auntie Stella
Saturday, March 28, 2009
A FINE IRISH MEAL
Dear Fans of the Stella; Sorry, got a bit distracted. Went to the corner Irish bar to order a bottle of their best Irish Whiskey they carry (McRotgut sells for $1.99 gallon) and ran into a pack of little men and started drinking with them. They claimed to be Leprechauns but I never did see a pot of gold and I do believe that they may be actually be Snow White's cast offs because one of them was really Dopey. And watch out if you drink Irish coffee! The coffee wires you up while the whiskey brings you down and the whipped cream gives you a rush, your poor body doesn't know what to do and mine did it all.
I have a recipe that I make every year on St. Patty's Day and at least one other time during the year. The meat takes about three hours to cook while the vegetables only need about 45 minutes or so which give you plenty of time to get the raw vegetables ready at your leisure.
Shopping: 1 corned beef brisket 3-5 pounds, 1 quart of beer, 1 shot of whiskey (tenders the roast even more), 1 tablespoon of caraway seeds, 3 tablespoons of Italian seasoning, 3 large bay leaves, 1 large sweet red onion sliced, 8 carrots skinned but left whole, 1 stalk of celery, 1 very large head of cabbage, 8-10 medium red potatoes.
In a lobster type pot, put the roast in the pot and cover with the whiskey and beer and add all seasonings and bring to a hard boil for 5 minutes uncovered then turn down to simmer. Add the onion to the pot. Cut the butt (or bottom if you prefer) of the celery off, cut into 4 pieces and rinse and add to the pot along with all of the leaves off of the stalk (what else are you going to use them for?) Now get lost for 2 hours. When you come back, rinse the potatoes and cut out any big eyes or bad spots, trim off about 8 more large trimmed pieces of celery and add all of these to the pot and re-cover the pot. Peel the outside leaves off the cabbage and cut into 8 wedges and add to the top of the pot. If your liquid has boiled down you can add water or more beer. The alcohol all cooks off so not to worry about serving to children or people in AA. (Lots of people don't consider it a meal if there is no bread, I make Jiffy cornbread with an extra tablespoon of sugar per box or you could make biscuits or just bread and butter.)
Dig to the bottom of the pot and pull the roast out and re-cover the veggies. Let the meat cool down for about 15 minutes and then slice thin slices and then serve the meal on plates or deep bowls with mustard on the side or right on the beef and cabbage. The meal will be colorful and delicious and leftover meat can be used for sandwiches (if there is any). Next day, cut up any leftover veggies and add a can of corned beef and make it soup. Waste not.
Stella
I have a recipe that I make every year on St. Patty's Day and at least one other time during the year. The meat takes about three hours to cook while the vegetables only need about 45 minutes or so which give you plenty of time to get the raw vegetables ready at your leisure.
Shopping: 1 corned beef brisket 3-5 pounds, 1 quart of beer, 1 shot of whiskey (tenders the roast even more), 1 tablespoon of caraway seeds, 3 tablespoons of Italian seasoning, 3 large bay leaves, 1 large sweet red onion sliced, 8 carrots skinned but left whole, 1 stalk of celery, 1 very large head of cabbage, 8-10 medium red potatoes.
In a lobster type pot, put the roast in the pot and cover with the whiskey and beer and add all seasonings and bring to a hard boil for 5 minutes uncovered then turn down to simmer. Add the onion to the pot. Cut the butt (or bottom if you prefer) of the celery off, cut into 4 pieces and rinse and add to the pot along with all of the leaves off of the stalk (what else are you going to use them for?) Now get lost for 2 hours. When you come back, rinse the potatoes and cut out any big eyes or bad spots, trim off about 8 more large trimmed pieces of celery and add all of these to the pot and re-cover the pot. Peel the outside leaves off the cabbage and cut into 8 wedges and add to the top of the pot. If your liquid has boiled down you can add water or more beer. The alcohol all cooks off so not to worry about serving to children or people in AA. (Lots of people don't consider it a meal if there is no bread, I make Jiffy cornbread with an extra tablespoon of sugar per box or you could make biscuits or just bread and butter.)
Dig to the bottom of the pot and pull the roast out and re-cover the veggies. Let the meat cool down for about 15 minutes and then slice thin slices and then serve the meal on plates or deep bowls with mustard on the side or right on the beef and cabbage. The meal will be colorful and delicious and leftover meat can be used for sandwiches (if there is any). Next day, cut up any leftover veggies and add a can of corned beef and make it soup. Waste not.
Stella
Sunday, February 1, 2009
FOR MY FRIEND CHERYL
I have a friend at Sweetbay, a local grocery store that also sell alcohol (not the kind that you rub all over you (although that could be fun too, I used to do belly button shots but that is another story for another day). Anyway, I told her about a recipe that I use to make pate, cheap easy and oh so good but I never wrote it down for her so here you go pretty lady.
What you need to buy: 1 package of chicken livers (about a pound or so); 1 8oz package of cream cheese; 2 shots of Cuantro (sp? the orange liquor 1 for the pate and 1 for me) or 2 or 3 tablespoons of orange juice concentrate for the non drinkers and a pinch of basil, and some ground walnuts or pecans.
Boil the chicken livers (blood and all), add the basil while cooking and pull the cream cheese out of the fridge to bring it to room temperature. When the livers are done and the cream cheese is soft, throw both into a blender and add booze or oj concentrate and puree. The mixture will be kind of wet when it comes out so put it in a container and stick in the fridge for a couple of hours or until mold able. Shape into a log or a ball and cover with the crushed nuts and put on a plate with your favorite crackers. This is the basic recipe, if you want to make it your own by adding onion salt, garlic salt or whatever the second time it is up to you, my job is just to inspire, hope I've done that.
Valentines day is coming up and for that I suggest making reservations somewhere nice so that you don't have to clean up the kitchen and have more time for romance!
Auntie Stella signing out.
What you need to buy: 1 package of chicken livers (about a pound or so); 1 8oz package of cream cheese; 2 shots of Cuantro (sp? the orange liquor 1 for the pate and 1 for me) or 2 or 3 tablespoons of orange juice concentrate for the non drinkers and a pinch of basil, and some ground walnuts or pecans.
Boil the chicken livers (blood and all), add the basil while cooking and pull the cream cheese out of the fridge to bring it to room temperature. When the livers are done and the cream cheese is soft, throw both into a blender and add booze or oj concentrate and puree. The mixture will be kind of wet when it comes out so put it in a container and stick in the fridge for a couple of hours or until mold able. Shape into a log or a ball and cover with the crushed nuts and put on a plate with your favorite crackers. This is the basic recipe, if you want to make it your own by adding onion salt, garlic salt or whatever the second time it is up to you, my job is just to inspire, hope I've done that.
Valentines day is coming up and for that I suggest making reservations somewhere nice so that you don't have to clean up the kitchen and have more time for romance!
Auntie Stella signing out.
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