Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Dear Friends of the Stella, Sorry, I’ve been out of touch for awhile but I have been touring the south performing my job as a judge for all of the local Miss Gay America pageants. Every town, county or city that has a gay bar seems to be having these and I can use the bucks. The rules, of course, are somewhat different for these contests like sleeping with the judges is not only permitted but also encouraged. And although some of the contestants are truly pigs they are of the two-legged variety. Hog calling and chicken plucking are by themselves worthy attributes but can not be used during the talent portion of the contest. The rest of the rules seem to vary from bar to bar and local to local. The most interesting one was “The Miss Gay America Semi-Driver” competition. You just have to admire a truck driver walking in a pair of stilettos and who knew that latex girdles could be made that size. As always, any contestant caught grazing on the grass during the pageant will automatically be disqualified, except in Texas.

But in keeping with my reputation as The Kitchen Bitch, I will share a recipe that I have never before shared with anyone, my world famous chocolate chip cookies. You know I love short cuts and everyone will be sworn to secrecy on this one. I use the recipe on the back of the bag of Nestle’s Chocolate Chips with the following variation. To the batter add 1 tablespoon of instant coffee, 1 teaspoon of ground clove (not just for hams anymore), 1/2 cup of walnut pieces and a handful of flaked coconut (this keeps the cookies nice and moist for a longer period of time, like they're going to sit around). Then just finish with the rest of their directions except I like to make larger cookies (for when my diet says I can only have one cookie). Sometimes I like to add one additional ingredient and that would be 1 teaspoon of raspberry extract. I dare you.
Auntie Stella

1 comment:

Beatrice said...

So THAT'S where you've been all summer!!!
I'll have to try these, the coconut sounds good. I've also heard that a dash or two of pepper gives the cookies a little zing.